Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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