The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
