I'm jealous of your bromance
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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