Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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