It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
