I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
