distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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