We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
