love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
