You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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