i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
