im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
