genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
