Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
