There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
