she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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