i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
