he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
