Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
