so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize