the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
