ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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