I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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