dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
