Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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