she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
