Dual....:-)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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