We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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