I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
