ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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