We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there was a trapeze. enough said
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
