if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
