did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
