You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize