I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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