"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
