K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
