If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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