i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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