Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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