Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
