I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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