If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize