I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
