We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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