The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize