YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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