There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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