Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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