I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
