nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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