Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?

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(586): View more from Michigan

No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

(815): View more from Illinois

I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

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(619): View more from California

I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.

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