I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize