But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
