He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
