What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
