I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who died my cat blue again?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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