if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
