Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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