It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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