I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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