I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
