dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
