SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize