Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
